Princess Donut the Queen Anne Chonk

First appearance: Book 1 - Dungeon Crawler Carl · Class: Party Leader · Race: Cat (Enhanced Growth Buff)

Who is Princess Donut?

Before the dungeon, Princess Donut was a pedigreed, award-winning show cat belonging to Carl's ex-girlfriend Beatrice. She was bred by Bea's family. She spent her days watching Lifetime, HGTV, The A-Team, and various other programs while the humans were at work. In the most upsetting moment of her pre-dungeon life, the neighbor's cocker spaniel Angel broke one of her jingly ball toys.

The morning of the transformation, Donut escaped the apartment for the first time to search for Ferdinand (the neighbor's cat). Carl braved the freezing winter night to rescue her. This saved both their lives. When they entered the dungeon, Donut ate an Enhanced Pet Biscuit before Carl could stop her, melted into a furry heap of goo, and re-emerged as a talking, sapient cat with elevated stats and the Enhanced Growth Buff.

Her first act as a sapient being was to rename the party "The Royal Court of Princess Donut," change Carl's title to "Royal Bodyguard," and change her own title to "Grand Champion Best in Dungeon." Carl's response was, predictably, "Goddammit, Donut."

What makes Donut terrifying?

Donut's Charisma is absurdly high. She is the face of the party, the crowd favorite, and the one who handles the intergalactic audience and sponsors. She has a massive fan club called the Princess Posse. She is a summoner and caster class who fights from a distance with magic, because getting dirty is beneath her.

Donut's spell names are absurd and her combat abilities scale dramatically as the series progresses. She is not to be underestimated. She just prefers to be underestimated while wearing a tiara.

The voice

Donut speaks like an upper-class British cat who has watched too much reality television. She refers to Carl as her "manservant." She types in ALL CAPS in party chat. When Carl points out she doesn't have to type in all caps, her response is: "I AM YELLING, CARL."

She is vain, demanding, dramatic, and accidentally wise. She is better at parsing storylines than Carl (she's watched a lot of horror movies) and frequently identifies plot threads before he does. She is terrible at subtlety, patience, and acknowledging that other people have valid opinions.

She is also, underneath all of it, fiercely loyal to Carl, to Mongo, and to the crawlers she considers part of her court. She once pulled Carl back from a psychological breakdown by saying, "Don't look at the screen, Carl. Look at me." It is one of the most emotionally devastating lines in the series.

Notable Donut moments (spoiler-lite)

• Renamed the party without asking. Changed Carl's title to "Royal Bodyguard." Changed her own to "Grand Champion Best in Dungeon."
• Compared Carl's anatomy unfavorably to a stranger's on live intergalactic television. ("Wow. Yours isn't nearly that big. Or oily looking.")
• Became addicted to haggling on Floor 3 and nearly convinced a shopkeeper to spend her own money to give them a bigger discount.
• Refused to go in the water. Got knocked unconscious and woke up several hundred feet underwater. Her response after surviving: "Go fuck yourself, Carl."
• When drunk on anti-taint smoothie, told Carl she loved him. Not as much as Miss Bea ("Because, y'know, she's my person.") or Ferdinand, but she does love him.
• Declared "I am a Princess, Carl. I don't do 'stealth'" approximately once per book.
• Donut's opinion of other people is strongly influenced by their attitudes toward dogs. Even a cold-blooded serial killer gets some credit for having once run over a dog with her car.

About the art

Donut is deliberately depicted incorrectly on the book covers and in fan art. Matt Dinniman explained on Reddit: "Before I wrote books, I drew pictures of cats for a living. Torties are my favorite cats, but they are -- by far -- the most difficult colorings to draw, and I wasn't going to subject another artist to that."

For full spoilers on Donut's arc, visit the spoiler zones. She would want you to know that the spoiler zones are named after her. They aren't. She doesn't care.

Key relationships